he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Randomize
