Pregnant stripper...not hot.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
wow bdsm is so cute
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
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