So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face