is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
21 Disappointing Confessions From Teenage Fathers
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
19 Of The Most Epic “I Quit’ Stories Ever
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you