What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Hippo gnu deer
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed