So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
23 Strangest Things That Gave Dudes A Boner
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
These 21 People Shouldn’t Be Giving Dating Advice
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything