He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
