i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
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You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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