I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize