So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
