the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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