I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
