There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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