just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
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