apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
