i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
