How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Randomize
