Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
i came on her dog
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Randomize
