ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
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