Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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