So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
I just gargled with NyQuil
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
