just tell him i said nine months
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Randomize
