big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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