I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Randomize
