Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
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I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
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Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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