So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Randomize
