I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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