WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
My vagina just recognized that song.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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