Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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