I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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