I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
