Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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