The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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