Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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