my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
