dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
