My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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