Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Randomize
