my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
i would one night stand the shit outta him
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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