But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
Randomize
