; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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