Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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