Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
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