I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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