I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
