is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
