One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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