This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Randomize
