Having a random hookup so left but love u
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP ππππ
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize