is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize