you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
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