So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
only you would photoshop your dick
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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