youre lurking in front of me
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Randomize