didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
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