if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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