i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
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So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
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You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
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