yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
