Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
