So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
You're a waste of cheezeits
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
