So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
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