So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
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