Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
Did you just see the Batmobile???
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
