So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
