Don't you send me to vm
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize