When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
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I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
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I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
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