I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
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